We are rerunning Richard Cobbett’s classic Crapshoot column. In which he rolled dice and took a chance at obscure games, both good and bad.
You have to admire my confidence. Rockstar is not related to the creators of Grand Theft Auto, or games that have actual music. It describes itself as: “THOSE MESMERISING NE AGE HYPNOTISTS WIZARD GAMES PROUDLY. NO EXTRAVAGANTLY PRENT FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT and AMAZEMENT. BEWILDERMENT. CONFUSION. THEIR LATEST PSYCHADELIC XTRAVAGANZA ROCKSTAR!”
The title screen continues, “Welcome into the magical world of WIZARD Games.” You have never seen anything quite like it before. We won’t waste your money with fancy packaging or glossy advertising…we won’t insult you intelligence with childish graphics challenges . We just create unique games that will make you addicted. Now you are entering the realm of your imagination …… “SO BEWARE!
To be honest, I doubt my imagination can surpass “be a struggling British rockstar”. The other week, I was wondering if blood bank employees get to wear protective gear and enjoy the most incredible water balloon fights. The credits are still quite amazing. The Coding was done by a Sleepy Cat Summer with Lord B Dog handling special effects detail. What is the point of an ASCII-only effect? Surprised? The answer is “not very special”, even in 1989.
I am confident that a game endorsed by gaming legends like Furry Crab and Pink, Celtic Ray, Guitar Bob, Guitar Bob, and the Schmeelie man can live up its hype. Let’s get it going!